Move in Silence

    The smartest people are the ones who move in silence. Regardless if they make mistakes or have success in something they move in silence.  They share when they have completed whatever endeavor they set out to do. Their mistakes they keep to themselves because quite frankly its none of our business. Maybe tell your therapist or close friend or dairy. We all have that one friend or family member who says what they are gonna do but never do. The friend who makes the same mistake and says they are gonna take time away and get better. They spend so much time telling us that they forget to actually do the action.

 I believe we all have some narcissism in us. This isnt some ego vs true self mess I think some right hand people got it all wrong. Ego and true self is both needed in my opinion but I consider myself left hand path and bad bitch so that’s me. But back to the point which is some people have perfectionism and narcissism mix together where they always telling us what they wanna do or telling us about what we should do as humans  aka right hand path people and them never actually doing shit they say they was or doing the shit they say we should do.  They will say ” get rid of your ego”  yet they forget themselves to do that what they told us. I find it quite funny and I am not Jennifer Lopez.

The fact is fucking do what you say you gonna do and maybe not fucking tell us and just do it. Left hand path people we just fucking do and we aren’t telling people what they need to do cause we are busy doing shit. I feel some right hand path people can be to much of perfectionist , narcissistic, and the egotistical they tell us not be. Those things help shape us and you damn right imma use them if need be to get what I want.

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The moral of the story kids is move in silence. Love in silence. Cry in silence. Grow in silence. Its a skill knowing when to share certain things and who to share it with. Its times when you need share deep heart to heart things. Its times when you need to talk to trusted person when you feel like giving up. Its times when you need get therapist. The thing is to learn when those time are and who to share it with. Its like the fable the boy who cried wolf.  The thing is you have one chance to give a perception to you to people. The reality is your first impressions of you can and will last you a lifetime.

Always put your best foot first. And my god please please move in silence. It ain’t nothing i hate more is someone who tells us “Oh I am about to do this” and they never do it. They make themselves a laughing stock and wonder why people talk bout them. At this point they aren’t haters. My definition of haters is when you actually do shit and they hate. Haters are when you  move in silence and they hate. They hate cause they never know what you are doing but they know you are doing something. But they hate cause you never tell them what you plan to do therefore they cant mess with your manifestation.

My churchy grandma always says I shouldn’t be so secretive because she believes you are just as sick as your secrets. Sometimes you have advantage when people have no knowledge of your secrets, dreams, fears, mistakes, and etc. I mean that’s when people have to just start making rumors up cause they cant use anything against you but a rumor. I am a valuable woman and everyone doesn’t deserve to know my every move, my fears, my secrets, my failures and you name it. If you know something your valuable but if i go telling everyone then no one who knows is valuable because everyone knows.

If your a person who always say what you gonna do and never do it its like the fable the boy who cried wolf people gonna laugh at you and your gonna be known as person who never does shit and they gonna talk about you and i dont blame it its fucking ludicrous.  No one not gonna tell you cause people like you cant take the truth so instead they laugh at you.

The thing is when you share to much you have a chance of people wishing bad on you.  You have chance needing people approval to start something.  People who move in silence don’t need approval to start something. They don’t need advice. They just start and they finish and then they will tell everyone what they did. Baby, its big difference of telling people what you did which is past tense and telling people what you gonna do  which is future tense.

First, people will start take you serious and will have good things to say and when you say you gonna do things they will believe you because you have track record of doing things even without telling folks. And most of all when you don’t tell people you have a chance of your dreams coming true.

As left hand person i feel its spiritual reason why you shouldn’t tell so much.  They say thief will come into the night but the truth is you let the thief in to take away your joy and your dreams. The more they more they more they can do things against you.

Right hand path people are to naive about shit I swear.  Honestly you never know people full intentions only themselves know.  Its best to keep a lot shit to yourself because it makes you major player in life. We all wanna win. They say you should know more about other people then they know about you just saying.

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Lastly, it shows you have no confidence in yourself, your goals, your ambitions whatever you wanna call it. It shows people you need validation in your goals. People who don’t need validation just do what they fuck they wanna do and they might not even tell people what they did because they don’t need validation. Now its one thing to do something and want people to see your accomplishments and that is fine. When you seek validation you will go so many directions instead of going the direction to make your goal a reality. People will put their morals and judgement on your goal and ambition. They will make you question what you can do, your goal, and will hurt your self esteem. Confidence, self esteem, self worth is like a muscle if you work out you get stronger. But if you stop working out it will go back to where it was. You have to always be on your toes doing something. The more you realize you are the boss you will act like the boss. Bosses dont fucking ask they demand and show. The only time you should tell people what your doing is your employees.  Friend and family arent your employees they dont need to know your every move. Employees are the ones who need feel needed and included when it comes to business and growing your brand and business and you keep it professional.

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Stay gone like a ghost

When you or people leave you I believe both parties need stay in the past like a ghost. You left me for a reason so stay gone. If I left you nothing gonna change my feelings. This person messaged me on one of my post and it annoyed it me. You have something to nice to say yet you say you might never message me and that your from my past. It’s bullshit if you ask me.

I am learning create boundaries. I am learning to speak my mind so many times I let shit go. But I’m like Cardi when I started to speak my mind people started to love me for me. The past should be remembered but not visited. I had ex friends and lovers come back and my intuition gut told me keep they asses away from me. My gut was screaming they left or you left so they need stay there. You a bad bitch they can stay in the past. 5’5 Libra always ready for war my sister sign to Libra is Aries and I be ready. Cardi Libra ass was right we feel some type of way it’s gonna be forever. So if I leave I’m gone forever and if you left be gone forever. When you keep going back the universe will be confused you keep going back to your past. So always move forward cause whatever left will not comeback but something better will replace them. I am not fearful and I’m learning to not love with attachment. A lot of shit is subjective to us. One person say I’m good and another says I’m bad. The thing is I know who I am and that is all that matters.

I’m saying all this cause I have borderline personality. Now I’m gonna wonder who messaged me. I’m gonna be annoyed for days why they do this. I’m gonna be annoyed cause if your person from my past and have whatever feelings for me then stay away. Spy from afar and keep it like that. Look we all try see what people from past what we are doing. We are humans won’t fault anyone. But it’s when you say something but in same breath shade me.

I had to calm down cause my witch ass is dark worker and felt the person was wrong cause this was uncalled for. I learned if I left a person it’s selfish for me to message them on social media and etc. I still don’t like them but let me comment on a post. Yeah I never talk to them again but let me cause them a mental issue. I think I know who commented on my post. I’m sure it’s someone from my ambw past. My intuition told me who did it. But I’m gonna let it go cause come at me I’m getting them hitters. I’m Libra we don’t lie or front. We ready to fight and etc. What you see you get. If we don’t like you best believe you gonna know. But it’s childish to do what this person did. It makes my witch ass do some stuff so you never do that to person again. But my higher self said chill cause my ancestors don’t play and bitches and niggas are silly. You always get the last laugh don’t even gotta do much. Block and delete and always listen to your intuition. So if you leave someone do them favor to leave them alone and vice versa.

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Being fat can and will affect your leveling up as black Women

The black community lies about health, beauty, and leveling up. Most men want small women and not fat women. I am fat and black. The world hates fat black women. In middle school I was picked on for being fat. And black family members would lie and say ” your pretty” ” your not fat” and the good ol ” beauty is in the eye of the beholder” . Look be honest to these kids. Everyone should be worried about health. Just be honest that dating will be harder when your black and fat. That certain jobs you won’t get cause your fat. So they can know how world is. That it’s not their fault but it’s tough live in. And that if they can’t handle it it’s okay to lose weight. I’m 25 and fat and black can’t handle this fat life. Sorry fat activist and body positive people I just can’t wait for freedom and change.

Everyone wants to level up in dating and sometimes you gotta lose weight. Have better hair styles. Get clearer skin and so much. Men are visual creatures so looks do matter. I use to lie and say it doesn’t matter but I have turned down maybe good men cause they was ugly to me. I even turn down fat men so I can’t get mad when non fat men turn me down. I just want our parents to tell us the truth about shit so we can decide what’s best for us.

I am now getting vsg surgery in November. I am happy. I letting go fat girl life and mind. I’m letting go body and fat community stuff cause I need to. I kept weight because I wanted to seem real to fat activist. But I learned to fuck what anyone has to say or think this is my life. And they have they own life and it been plenty of other fat women for the cause. I’m putting them shoes up. We tell black Women it’s okay to put up matching shoes up for black community but when fat black woman become small it’s this ” how dare she practice diet culture” it’s like if we don’t accept something then we are so bad. Just be honest about shit and make choice for yourself. And for me it’s short cut aka losing weight to get accessible to leveling up shit quicker and that’s not evil.

When I get smaller I will have bigger selection of men. I be able to dress my best and afford clothes I love and make my body look good. I will get men who wanna spending money on me. All I am saying is living the fat life is hard what hurts more when I parents lie to us about reality. Tell them you love them but be honest about dating, jobs, travel, and etc as fat people. Don’t send your fat kids to the wolf’s because you don’t wanna accept society is shallow. Tell them the truth and give them tools be best fat person they can be. But also give them the tools if they wanna lose weight. Our health is bad in our community regardless of size but I will say obese fat is bad. One thing to be over weight but becoming 400 pounds and over is just bad just like being under 100 pounds. Everyone isn’t gonna be fat and everyone isn’t gonna be skinny. But when it comes to extreme it’s not healthy or cute to me and I’m currently fat at 260 pounds. We need more veggies and fresh fruit and Whole Foods abs learn about different eating styles. But that’s post for another day. I will be recording my weight lost surgery. Love yourself but be honest about this world.

Selfie of me

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If they leave don’t let them comeback

It’s okay to move on from situations, friends, family, men. When you leave me stay away. I learned when I leave people I need stay away. I had friends who left me at lowest to only come back when they are at lowest and me to not be honest. People have comes back when they left me at lowest and my inner voice says block them but my ego goes accept and see what’s really going on. Let’s face it people leave when we down and they up and they call us toxic. People can be hard to handle but that word toxic is used way to much. I was once homeless and had people to live me no goodbye but to make it known I’m toxic to come back and sadly they was down.

As Libra we will act like we forget and forgave we haven’t. I’m not with faking the funk no more. If we left we don’t need patch things up. Cause many times it can’t be fixed. I’m gonna act caring but within I’m laughing cause people act like you forget what they did. You start to do shit and not care what they call you cause they left first and had nerve to come back. You start hide and not be honest about everything. I’m now honest I will not accept anyone who left me at lowest and I will not go back to someone I left because most times it’s not sincere on both sides. If universe wanted us to be cool we would never left each other. I ve had men who left and said mean shit and when I went back it was due vein afraid to be alone or to get revenge. And it’s same for friendships with home girls. Also my spiritual advisor told me to let go of a lot childhood shit and part of that for me is letting go last 4 people from ambw days. I don’t want nothing to do with people wit that area. Could care less about what’s right for others for a lot of my life I worried about others so much and not me. I’m putting me first. I’m leaving with no goodbyes. When people from past try come back I’m blocking y’all. I am creating a backbone I should been developed. And I realize I’m one woman person who don’t need no team or people. I am wasp I’m fine alone. I really don’t make friendships but opportunities with people. It’s nothing wrong with that men do it all the time. If I don’t have good intentions for or with you I’m gonna block and wish you well. Wasp energy people are okay and do better alone. We want one good lover and few close family and maybe one friend. I’m okay being alone. The people I recently let go we are on different paths and want different things. It’s about who you hang out with and etc. They deserve people who love and on same page and I deserve the same. I’m wearing my crown high. I am gonna enjoy life. I am gonna learn to embrace to be alone. To embrace having backbone and tell people no I will not accept you back. I will be blogging and etc more since all my time is on me and selfish. I’m being selfish for once and it feels so damn good.

New Moon in Virgo Goals

  1.  Self love where I look like i care about myself. Self love where I learn to develop self discipline where I actually love myself and change my behavior. Happiness depends on behavior day in and day out. My level self love will be cutting off people that no longer serve my path. Where I block and delete and move on.
  2. Workout 4 times a week for 30 minutes. This is something I struggle with. Its many reasons to workout. I need to do it for my mental clarity. I have always did it to lose weight and some vain reason. Working out to me was punishment due to me letting my body go. We all need to workout. I want to walk, go to gym, take yoga classes, and do different things and be unique.
  3. Lose Weight to develop self confidence and let go all of my inner demons that had me hold onto weight. I have been fat for so many years so men wouldnt want me due to abuse as child. I wanted my fatness to make me invisible. I complain about being invisible but I never do shit. My actions tell the world I am invisible. In reality the universe doing everything i asked it to do unconsciously. I am no longer that fat girl. I am thankful for all things being fat has did for me aka protecting me from men and abuse they cause. But that abuse isnt my burden. Their inability to not abuse isnt my issue.  And having weight lost surgery in November will help me. I need that push. And fear will not hold me back nor will those men or society will hold me back no more.
  4.  I want to feel and actual believe I am pretty. I want be the fairest girl of them all when I look at that mirror. I will see other women but they wont be as pretty as me. Because i am the prettiest of them all and what others think will not touch me. Because I have decided in my head im the prettiest damn bitch in the kingdom. If men can be egotistical then damn I can too. Fuck any bitch who dont like that shit. Me, myself and I. My problem is I cared way to much about what other women thought, what my family, friends, and men and just society and losing this weight I will stop caring or saying ” i am sorry” for every little thing.
  5. Men will bring me offerings now. They will take me out to nice places to eat even tho I can only eat 4 bites. They will take me shopping. They really bring me flowers. They will give me holiday gifts. They will offer me be their gf. They will pay bills when I need help. My femininity makes them wanna fall to my knees. They will look at me when all the other women wants them. I will be their Cinderella where the shoe only fits men.
  6.  I will become and train to be kickass entertainer and business woman. I want to never limit myself. I want to be open to the universe and all that is for me. I will take classes and take chances because I am special and unique and the world needs entertainer and business woman like me.

                                 These are my goals some goals will be going on to the day I die. Some goals will end when this moon cycle ends. I need learn self dedication and discipline this moon cycle.